Grandma\’s Tales

March 10, 2007

Grammar – 30 What’s wrong with simple language? 2

Filed under: Language — Rajesh @ 11:54 pm

Friend BNB has come up with a wonderful idea to get through meetings and conferences where speakers specialise in IT lingo. He plays a game. Check it out at http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
Now I think we should all rally around to help BNB with more words. I have quite a collection. (Friend Rahul Nayar says they are “intended to soften the impact of what the management is trying to convey, or, alternatively, to add pomp to their content.” True.)
Here they are, BNB.
Incentivize; streamline; benchmark; out-of-the-box; ballpark; synergize; synchronize; strategise; learnings (noun, plural); core-competencies; end-user; bandwidth when used out of context); spectrum; touch base, infrastructure provisioning, contextualized areas, competitive adjacencies.
While on the subject, I’d like to tell everyone I’m not a high-networth individual or HNI.
A corporate head I spoke to said they had to use these words and phrases to be on par with their overseas (read US) clients. You can’t tell the client, “Bob, thanks for the lowdown on the project. But what does that mean? Could you translate it into plain English, please?” I know for a fact that a lot of people in all parts of the world would rather have simple, understandable English spoken to them. I once argued, “Why can’t corporates make speaking/writing simple, straight-forward English part of their CSR?”
Just read this. I picked them up from well-known business papers.
“XYZ has been in the ‘assessment solutions’ business for years… their addition will extend ABC’s value proposition and further differentiate our company from a domain expertise perspective.”
“The increased interaction with the XYZ’s sales and marketing teams in the go-to-market function, made the ‘stand alone’ company executives feel that their turf was being invaded.”
“Our product will enable early adapter road-warrior knowledge workers pervasive access to mission critical corporate data anywhere.”

Ho, ho! Want to translate?
I was introduced to computerspeak a couple of years ago at a KPO where I was training teachers. When our newly-appointed techie walked in, I asked him, “Are you here during the day shift?” He said, “Yes, by default.”

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1 Comment »

  1. I am a 12th student from tirunelveli(one of ur law student in sriram academy).Ur bloc presents very vital information.Ur writings are interesting.Maam in tirunelveli at the govt. exhibition there was a room for the govt.plans and its achievement.In the planning section i found the marina beach with its modernisation schemes.Is the planning still in the move?Is there public opposition to this plan?

    Comment by srilakshmi — July 17, 2007 @ 7:44 pm | Reply


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